Small Wins


Warning: this is about my experience with my severe case of the chronic disease ulcerative colitis…

Many of you who are close to me know I have been in the hospital.  With my time here, I am reminding myself it is the perfect time to acknowledge every small win I conquer.  As falling ill feels like hell; getting better feels like heaven, and it is a must for me to take note of every positive event that takes place for me to keep my spirits up (especially if I find myself in the same spot down the road).

It is scary suddenly getting symptoms and having no way to control them (in a fast, immediate manner).  It is scary not being able to eat and feel yourself lose strength.  To be frank, it sucked not being able to take pain medication for days as it would make my condition worse.  It got to the point where I completely stopped consuming anything for two days.  I had a PICC line emplaced to start to feed me on Thanksgiving day.  I had two lonely tears stroll down my cheek during it, but at the same time I found the irony in the situation so funny.

THANKFULLY, the next day came and my biggest win occured (which has set-off many small wins)!  My biggest win is that the strongest medicine is working for me.  Within 24 hours my pain resided dramatically.  I was able to start drinking water, sip at juice, and poke at jello for the rest of the weekend.  Today at dinner (Monday), I was advanced from the clear liquid diet to the nourishing liquid diet: tomato soup, sherbert, and hot chocolate were added to my choices.  I am very happy to see alternatives on my nutrition trays.  Next diet advancment is to eat GI soft food and remove my “food” bags– Then I’m outta’ here (to heal on my own)!

Other small wins are going to the bathroom and cramping WAY less and being able to start walking and getting consecutive hours of sleep!  From here out, I just need to take my time while eating and increasing my activity, be patient with this slow healing process, and hope that the medicine works forever and ever (or at least be able to manage a flare-up without the hospitals help)!

My insides looked quite not healthy!  Oddly, I love to show the pictures of my colon (p.s. colon= large intestine)…it literally shows what this disease does (seeing a healthy colon first puts it into perspective). Ha, so ask if you want to see…

When it comes down to it, I am putting this blog up to help me process this experience, inform those who are interested, and perhaps start a support group for others with the disease…as I have heard of many other people’s stories of going through hell and coming out okay in the end.  All in all, my worst case scenario is being cured by removing my whole colon.  That is something I can live with.  It is weird living not knowing what will happen– but that is life in a nutshell!  Night all.

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