It’s Time to Write.

It’s Time to Remind Ourselves that

Our troubles shall not consume us

It’s Time to Remind Ourselves that

Our troubles strengthen us

It’s Time to Remind Ourselves that

Life is a gift

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I have been in a  terrible funk ever since my last surgery. I have whimpered in the bathroom in front of the mirror saying things like “I can’t handle this.” Changing my wound packing creeps me out. I don’t like sticking gauze strips into the holes of my wound. Changing my bag for my new stoma makes me nervous. I don’t like the thought of potentially “pooping” more like “hot pee” on myself. My body frightens me this time around. When I got my first ileostomy I believed that I could handle it and I soared. I thought of another high-grade bowel obstruction happening but after having no issues for a few weeks I settled down.

I went into all that because I started to think and do terrible things because of those two things. I wished I would have other ailments instead that didn’t involve an organ failing on me. I got angry quickly at people and have said things I should not have. I have felt depressed which has made me think this is all too much for me to handle in less than one year.

But you know what, Faith?! And yes, I’m yelling at myself here, because I need to let myself believe this– You are making it! You are still living with so much potential!

Our troubles can so easily bury us alive. We can so easily stop trying. I hate feeling unmotivated, and I especially hate the feeling that I’m never going to feel motivated again or amount to anything.

So you know the saying and truth that you learn most through failing, right? Well troubles in a sense are a lot like failures! It is a time of regrowth and expansion. It is okay to get down, but like people have told me, you have to get back up that much better from your falls!

A thought of mine keeps reappearing in my head: “You don’t have the right to anything in life.” Which is translated as life is a gift. You do not choose your gift. You are simply given it.

Things don’t go our ways, but we need to remember that our stories make up our life which is a gift in the first place. Face trouble with strength. Own your story, your life, your gift.


4 thoughts on “It’s Time to Write.

  1. You write so beautifully from the heart. I pray that you will get well and I can see you making life much easier for other people that suffer from your same condition in the future. Be strong Faith you will beat this!

  2. Faith, this is beautiful!! It is so very right on target. We do not know day to day what’s in store for us and we can either appreciate the day we have or waste it. Luv u

Have a flowerista day! ✿

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